Living in Denmark

TGIF!!! i was really counting down and looking forward to the weekends. dont remember having such feelings or enthusiasm for weekends in the past when i was still schooling, cuz everyday in SMU seems like a weekday to me.HAHAS but for work, weekends are really weekends. you really get to rest, relax and recharge :))

work has been pretty great, other than the few boring parts where i have to self-entertain myself to keep myself awake, the rest was pretty much great 🙂 i like that the culture there is friendly and warm like family, the colleagues were nice and really trying me make me feel homely in their department by asking me out for lunch and sharing tips for me, my manager is great too where though she is really busy herself, she will still squeeze time for me and share with me what i had to do and stuffs. i’m really thankful for having such a conducive environment to work in as my first job. though actual work has not begin, but i am really excited about it, it seems challenging but somehow i feel it will be able to shape and change my life and my personality. i never know if i really fit well for this job, but you will never know if you never try. and if you wanna try, try your best to be the very best then :DD Hopefully through this job, i would gain the experience and the maturity to figure out what i really want to do with my future 🙂

to end off my week i met up with my bestie for lunch :)) it’s really nice to be working in the same company and also building with your best friend. it’s like when i am really feeling very tired and stuffs, somehow or rather, after seeing bestie, miraculously i feel happier and recharged! guess it’s the power of friendship and love. hee hee 🙂 met my grad trip friends for dinner at wild honey too :)) truthfully, i just love spending time with my friends, they really make me happy and alive! pictures on dinner with bestie on tuesday :DD

Though i am contented with my life, somehow i feel that i should have a goal in my life, a specific one which i want to achieve, one which i should move towards to help me to explore my limits further. i shall not be too contented with whatever i have now. self-content makes me lazy and unmotivated.sighhhh. shall spend the weekend thinking about it 🙂 loads of stuffs to do during the weekends, but its FUN!

Uncertainty creates the adrenaline in me~ sometimes i wonder if i will become a workaholic in the future or not (hahahas i doubt so unless i really have a clear goal which i so dying want to achieve) There are just so many unclear things in my life, but i like this whole feeling of not knowing what will happen and slowly things get to unveil and one gets to see the light! this whole uncertainty makes me feel excited! even if it’s tiring, i will still hang on and try my best. since i dont have the luck that some people have, i will just have to work doubly or triply hard to get the things that i want in my life then!! hwaiting!

I know that bottling things up inside me is not good thing to do, but I really do not like to say things out straight, like right smack in your face or through other means. It’s my issue really, not yours. You see, I am not PERFECT; I do not not flare up or get angry with things that annoy me and always remain nice and happy at every single point of my life regardless of what.

I do have feelings and do get angry, irritated and annoyed. I know you know that I am not always nice too. Truthfully, even though at times I pretend to be laughing and joking about all things, it doesn’t mean that I really don’t mind. Sometimes I just keep things to myself because I have no idea how to bring it out to tell you that I am really annoyed with the matter, cuz I am afraid that you may take offense to what I say. When things like this happen, I start to distance myself from you so that I can remove this awful feeling that I am feeling inside me by myself. I don’t want to get annoyed further to the point that I would just flare and say nasty things to you. I guess this whole trust issue about really opening up to someone is still really hard for me to grasp. I’m afraid that people would not see me the same again if I were to be angry or say things that I do not like to them. I like pleasing people, so I really feel very bad and sucky when I know I will do things to offend them. This whole balancing of my feelings and other feelings is really tiring which I find it hard to cope sometimes would result in me just disappearing so that I can have sometime alone with myself until I know that I am able to balance this whole emotion.

So to my friends if at times I was really mean or was cold towards you, I am really sorry. I just really having time off to settle this whole emotional thing that is inside me, so just give me time and space. I will be back as the same person once I have the emotions sorted out so just stay with me and try not to be affected by me okay? I am really thankful for all the wonderful and awesome friends that I have, and every single one of you is as important to me. Just know that at the end of the day I love you all no matter what :DD HUGS