Living in Denmark

things hasnt been pretty much colourful or easy for my month of August. i’m pretty much stressed up by myself and yet trying so hard to keep the positivity that things will head for the better. have been telling myself that “things has been bad, i know, but when things get worse it can only get better right? So the good days are going to be ahead and hang in there gen!” but somehow, i dont feel that things have been getting any better. it’s just as bad, or maybe, even worse. taking on the job, i was already prepared for these, i mean the number game is definitely something in which i cannot run away from, but never knew it was this tough when it is really your bad month ya know.

i know my manager is not pushing me and stressing me out, but i think i have been freaking myself out more than ever and it is not doing me any good at all. I guess the more people have expectations that i will excel in things, the more i will feel stress that i will need to perform up to their expectations. Probably i should learn to let go and not care about others, what i should care about would be my own goals, what do i want to ultimately achieve each month and not just living for the sake of others expectations. I no need you to really know me, but i just need to know that my efforts are appreciated and you can see my efforts. yeahhh probably rationally, i should cut myself some slack and not be so worried about my manager’s expectations. but RATHER, live up to my own expectations. it’s so tiring to be always living to please people, and i have always been doing it till i think i have had enough.

i know things will be better in September, October and the many many months ahead. My goal is to learn and experience as much as i can in this job, be able to value add to my job and also the clients in which i serve and to improve every month. I dont have to have exceptional results and i should stop comparing myself to others, cuz ultimately my biggest enemy is myself!! need to stop dreading work and start finding the motivation within to start loving my job like how i used to love it at the begining 🙂 I’m sure i will be able to do that ! 😀

keeping faith 🙂